In the words of that dog from that one meme, I have no idea what I'm doing.
In 2014 I wrote a couple entries, left the prairie, moved halfway across the country, met Thomas Jefferson (sort of, not really), turned around and it was 2016. Whoa. How did that happen?
Something like two weeks ago, I suspect in the throes of madness, I deactivated my Facebook account. Whoa again. See, what my simplified retelling of my two year journey doesn't mention is the erosion of a couple of important relationships, the unplanned transition that precipitated the journey itself and the decay of my emotional foundation that had apparently accumulated slowly, dust on a shelf, while I had my back turned or maybe had my fingers in my ears. If this all sounds pretty vague, don't worry, the upshot is simple: once I'd cut my ten year-old tether to the rest of the world, my addled brain once again drifted back to this virtual blank space and convinced me that if I typed some words in it, maybe I'd suddenly feel...better?
So I'm here, sitting in my second most comfortable chair at 12:08am, listening to Sia (which is a wonderful idea if you feel that the music of Adele is no longer wrenching your beating heart from your chest like it did when you two first met) and wondering how all of this happened and, maybe more importantly, what I really could have expected to have happened.
So, I'm going to try to write some things. Again. What things? No goddamn idea.
An investigation of my superhero (villain?) origin story that slowly unpacks a clown car of hurt, awkwardness and memories of past failures both innocuous and great (like the time I didn't realize my phone had autocorrected "Tom" to "Tim" in a text to Tom or that one time I got fired)? Maybe a little, hopefully not a lot.
How about a candid account of my professional life here in the present age? Probably not really, unless I somehow become much more comfortable with the idea of being fired again.
Perhaps a laundry list of the things I want, things I don't and things I don't understand? That could be the ticket.
In any event, I hope you'll bear with me, dear reader, as I try to figure out how I came to be here and how I plan to get to what's next.
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